Square peg and other metaphors

I can safely say I tried almost every single type of church that’s out there. Small fundamentalist churches, big fundamentalist churches, mega-churches, college town churches, charismatic churches, and house churches. It would be easy, and probably reasonable, to fear that Orthodoxy is just the next stop-off. I would be less than honest if I said that fear hadn’t crossed my mind in the days after I joined the Church.

But here’s the difference. All my life I had been the spiritual square peg, trying to stuff myself in the round holes of Western Christianity. From absolutely the moment I walked into an Orthodox church and found myself stumbling through the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom, I fit.

I’ve been trying to figure out why that is. Intellectually, the evidence of the unbroken chain of history from Sts. Peter and Paul is impressive. Theologically, my church’s statement of faith, which we recite during each Divine Liturgy, is the pre-filioquian Nicene Creed (it’s worked for centuries). And spiritually, its practices provide for complete healing and accountability in an active faith community.

But I think it’s something more than that. It was home to me. It was as if all my spiritual life I had been outside in the snow, my nose pressed to the frosty glass of a window. Inside the window was all the safety and warmth I could ever need. Now that I’m inside, I couldn’t ever leave. Why would I? There wasn’t any “wrapping my head around” that decision. The decision wrapped itself around me. I am captive.

And I don’t mind.

Author: Rebecca

Orthodox Christian. Journalist. SAR K9 handler. All three of those are deeply related.

3 thoughts on “Square peg and other metaphors”

  1. Bec:
    I am so jealous that you have your own blog! In true little sister fashion, maybe I will just have to start one of my own 🙂 seriously though, I am so happy that you have found the Orthodox church, and that you finally feel free to worship our Lord in the manner that fits you best!

  2. Bec: I am so thankful that you have found your hearts true home. God is so awesome! I feel very blessed to have you in our lives. Know that you will always be in my humble prayers. Priestwife

  3. What a beautiful picture you have painted of your journey and spiritual longing.

    As a “cradle Orthodox”, I found my own spiritual walk intensified when I had this urge to study the early church: the church Jesus left behind; the church of the apostles and early Christians.

    It seemed to me that the closer I could come to those who actually listened to, lived with and touched Christ, the closer to a truer, more authentic Christianity I would be.

    Burying myself in a scholarly quest, when I finally lifted up my head from the scriptures, history books, and apocrypha, what I saw was….Orthodoxy.

    I was at once heartened that I was “already there” and yet, awed by how much farther as a Christian I had to go; does that make sense?

    Welcome to Orthodox Christianity, Bec. I believe your own faith has been guided and strengthened by the Holy Spirit, no doubt. May God continue to bless you.

    Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Matt. 7:7-8

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